


Spicy Pine Bullets

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Scents & Smells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 17:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1826314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto met a businessman named Sasuke on the bus. Naruto found nothing about him interesting, until he caught a whiff of Sasuke's cologne. Never had pine and the rainforest smelled so attractive. Naruto might never meet Sasuke again, but a Spicy Pine Bullet would be lodged in his heart forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spicy Pine Bullets

"Next stop: Greenleaf Station, 801 Street." The mechanical but friendly sounding voice blared from the speakers overhead. A bell dinged, and Naruto glanced up from his laptop computer. The words _Greenleaf Station_ scrolled in bright yellow letters over the screen that hung above the bus cab.

With a sigh, Naruto shut his laptop. He tugged his bulging tote bag into his lap and stashed his computer snugly between a telephone directory and a well-worn comic book. He bent over, ready to shove his bag back under the seat, but his bored gaze once again fell on the comic book. With a furtive glance left and right, he tore loose the comic book and flopped against the back of the seat.

"Doctor Shoehorn strikes again," he muttered, peeling open the book. The pages crackled. "Wonder if Lady Lackluster will chuck him back into the big house." He scanned the panels for the dozenth time, but the longer he stared, the less sense they made. The pictures swam together in a haze of candy colors. He heaved another bored sigh and tossed the comic book into the adjacent seat. It smacked against the torn leather, the pages leafing open.

Naruto sank down the seat cushion, the back of his jacket bunching up behind him. His chin dug into his collarbone as he gazed listlessly up the aisle. The handles dangling from the ceiling of the bus rattled when the bus ground to a grumbly halt. Vaguely, Naruto listened to the buzzing murmur of voices surrounding him. Something clinked. He heard a mild "thank you." The doors slid shut with a hiss, and the bus jolted forward. Footsteps thumped down the aisle.

Naruto's eyes fixed hollowly on the window, more focused on his fingerprint-smudged reflection than on the horizon of skyscrapers that scrolled past.

"Can I sit here?"

Naruto's attention moseyed from the window. He wondered who was talking. The voice sounded nasal and plugged up.

"I _said,_ can I sit here?"

As if rousing from a dream, Naruto started. He blinked. His eyelids felt like stretched canvas over his hard eyes. His head whipped to the side to see the source of the rude question.

He found himself staring at a belt buckle. His eyebrows hiked up, but his gaze raked slowly upwards a slim waist and wide chest to meet the cold, marble-like eyes of a pure-blooded businessman.

 _Dang,_ thought Naruto. Without thinking, he scooted, cramming himself into the corner of his seat to free as much room as possible for the businessman's small backside and large presence. He watched with round eyes as the man delicately stepped past him. His buffed oxfords clicked against the rubber floor mat.

"Excuse me . . ." The man slid his skinny hands into his pockets and glared down at the seat. One eyebrow arched up his forehead, which looked as smooth and shiny and white as polished china. The corner of his mouth followed, cranking up in a sneer that made Naruto's toes wither inside his sneakers.

"Uhh?" He swallowed, wondering from what cobwebbed recesses of his mind that intelligent reply came. He cleared his throat with a "harrum" and said, "Seat's all yours, mac."

The man stared at Naruto for a moment, his face screwing up in a confused wince. He jerked his head toward the seat.

"Do you want me to sit on that?"

"Uh . . . you mean the seat?" Naruto wondered if he was supposed to wrestle out of his jacket and wipe the seat down, until his puzzled gaze shifted to the seat.

 _Oh._ His cheeks began to cramp with a blush as he swiped away the comic book, crumpling it in his fist to jam it into his briefcase. He hoped the man hadn't seen Lady Lackluster in her skimpy yellow bikini. Naruto stuffed the briefcase back under his seat, promising himself that as soon as he shot out of the bus, he would rip the comic book into confetti to celebrate the existence of back alley dumpsters.

When he sat up, the man was already arranging himself in the seat. He moved gingerly, as though afraid everything around him would sully the spotless black suit that was starched stiffly enough to hold up a bridge.

 _Can't stand these prissy pretty boys._ Naruto's eyes rolled heavenward when the man's bony white hand slid down his sleeve, smoothing out wrinkles that were as nonexistent as leprechauns. He edged further against the seat's armrest and away from the primping man.

Pointedly, he craned his neck until his cheek pressed against his shoulder. He predicted a debilitating cramp in his near future, but decided he could deal with that when it came.

He casually surveyed the floor, counting the crunchy wads of old gum and crumpled candy wrappers. _Looks like my room,_ he thought. His attention wandered. A shriveled old woman sat hunched on the seat across the aisle. With every bump and jostle of the bus, she rattled around. Naruto held his breath, waiting for her to topple to the floor and break.

The bus tires ground over the loose pavement. Gravel clattered and dust spewed, billowing around the sides of the bus to fog the windows. Naruto inhaled sharply when something ricocheted off the window with a sharp _ping._ When he breathed, something swept into his nose like a whirlwind. His knees locked and his heels dug into the floor.

 _God bless America, what is that_ smell? Naruto lifted his chin, his upper lip wrinkling up in a sneer. The scent was minty, but rich and smoky. It funneled into his nostrils as thick and tangible as molasses, spiraling his senses into a haze of clean, fresh spearmint.

 _Man. That smells_ sexy, Naruto thought, his eyebrows raising like a shelf over his eyes. It was spicy and masculine, like a pack of muscles and testosterone stepping sopping wet out of a rain shower in a forest.

Realization clicked into his mind, through the fog of minty spruce. _I know what that is. It's some of those expensive colognes with stupid names like "Spicy Pine Bullets" or "Minty Amazon Musk."_

Naruto had often wondered what an Amazon musk or a spicy pine bullet smelled like, but now that his lungs were soaked in the odor, he decided that the only scent more attractive was that of steaming instant noodles. He dragged his tongue over his chapped lips. That smell was _sexy_. Naruto wasn't one to loosely describe something in such a way, especially a scent, but this was distracting in the worst way. He felt like a dog with a fat, sinewy steak dangling just out of reach. He clamped his legs together and settled lower into his seat, wishing his cheeks would stop itching with that blotchy blush. His stomach knotted, and sweat started turning his underarms slimy.

A low cough hummed from beside him. Naruto cut a sidelong glance at the businessman.

 _Whoa. Wait._ He tensed when he saw the white hand with its knobby fingers ball up against the man's lips. All the pressure in his stomach dropped directly into the middle of Naruto's hips. Surely the stuffy businessman wasn't the one who smelled so delicious that Naruto had to cup his hands casually over his lap.

"Um . . ." Naruto nervously laced his fingers more securely over his lap when the man turned to him. "So . . . where you headed, mac?"

The man remained silent, as if unsure whether he should supply an answer. Finally, he blew a puff of air up his face that stirred his black hair.

"I'm going to Uchiha Co. Got some business for the day."

"Oh." Naruto squirmed. _Why does that smell so good?_ He unhinged his jaw a little to breathe through his mouth. He had read somewhere that doing so dulls the sense of smell. He wished he had a cold to plug up his sinuses.

He wriggled around like a worm on hot pavement. "Uchiha Co., huh? Ritzy joint. The pay good?"

The man drew up his shoulders in a shrug. "Decent." He paused. Sniffed. "Where do you work? Insurance?"

"Me?" Naruto's lips pursed with a wet _pfft._ He grinned. "No way. Stuff's dull as bricks. Stock's where it's at."

"Stocks, huh." The man's eyebrows hiked up his forehead. He appeared almost impressed. "What kind?"

"Anime junk. Dinky keychains, action figures, that racket. Things you see at cash registers that you _have_ to pick up. Cheap garbage, but it sells like pocky. You'd be surprised."

"Oh." The man seemed considerably less impressed.

Naruto looked at his lap. A wave of heat rippled up him. His shirt stuck moistly to his back. Every time the bus vibrated over the rough pavement, sparks of warmth buzzed down into his hips. His face contorted into a pained grimace. _Funny how a spritz of perfume can turn somebody into a mooning tomcat._

He shifted around, racking his mind for something to say. Anything to keep his attention from wandering to thoughts of the man wading through a misty rainforest river, water sloshing just below his waist, steamy raindrops coursing down his body, along the sinews and cords of muscle . . . .

Naruto scrunched over in a cringe. _What to say, what to say . . . ?_

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki, by the way," he blurted. "You know. Just in case you want to look me up when you switch from swanky Uchiha Co. to Tokyo Television Stock Exchange."

"Sure, sure." The man thought for a minute, then said, "I'm Sasuke."

"Sasuke . . . ?"

Sasuke bit his lip pensively. His teeth left little white dents in the pink skin. "Uchiha," he said at last.

"U _chi_ ha?" Naruto straightened up so quickly that his spine cracked. All thoughts of the rainforest vanished in a mist. " _You're_ one of the corporate owners of Uchiha Co.?"

"Of course." A spark of swagger lit Sasuke's eyes. "Heard of Itachi Uchiha? That's my brother. I'm actually the CEO."

Naruto's cheeks ballooned before he blew a long whistle through his teeth. "You're at the top of the food chain, mac. You and your brother own the biggest company in Japan––heck, in the East. What's it like?"

"It's okay," Sasuke said modestly. He picked at one of his buttons. Light reflected off the brass in glitter.

 _Wow. Bottom feeder._ Naruto practically heard Sasuke's opinion of him. _Scum sucker._ He rolled his eyes. _What's stock in anime body pillows compared to owning half of Japan's industry?_

"Are you okay? Sick?"

Naruto let Sasuke's question lodge in his mind. It wasn't concerned; more nervous than anything else. Sasuke was probably afraid Naruto would hunch over and empty his gut on his shiny oxfords.

"Don't worry," Naruto muttered, oozing lower into his seat. "Shoes are out of the splatter zone." _Rainforest mint man,_ he added silently. He moved his hands over his belt. _What kind of idiot soaks in Amazon aphrodisiac before going out?_

The bus shot over a pothole, rattling Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto slid, the seat of his pants squeaking over the leather cushion, and bounced. He landed, rather uncomfortably, on his wallet. He grunted.

"Pardon?" Sasuke tilted his head.

"Huh? Oh. Uh, nothing." The longer he looked at Sasuke, the more that the mottled blush drained downward. Hotter and hotter, like lava pouring through his veins.

He concentrated on the scenery rolling by. Cars whipped past in flashes of metallic color. Blinding light angled off chrome fenders. Naruto squinted.

"Gonna be humid today," Sasuke commented. He raised slightly off the seat to dig through his pocket. He withdrew a tube of mints that rattled like a maraca, popped open the tab, and shook a few out.

Naruto bounced his heels against the floor uneasily. His gaze shifted. "Gimme one of those."

Sasuke looked at his hand with a measure of disgust, but sprinkled a couple of mints into the outstretched sweaty palm. Naruto tipped back his head and popped his hand against his mouth, downing the mints like aspirin. Sasuke watched, before shaking his head slightly. He pinched his own mints between his fingers, delicately pressing it against his tongue. He poked the mint into his mouth, and his finger followed as he lightly sucked away the powdery mint residue.

Naruto swung his eyes away and stood so fast that his ankles popped like gunshots. "This is my stop!" he blurted, shooting for the door. The fact that Greenleaf Station was still eight blocks away didn't matter. Naruto clattered his way to the cab and wrapped his hand around the handlebar to keep his knees from buckling. He huddled close to the bar and pressed his forehead against the cold steel. He prayed nobody would notice his heaving chest and his splotchy red face.

He stood, swaying, until the bus groaned and whistled to a halt. The engine muttered. The robotic voice filtered through the speakers: " _Now arriving at Greenleaf Station, 801 Street._ " Something beeped, and the sliding door struggled open. Bodies began surging toward the exit, bumping and milling around Naruto. He vaulted up on tiptoe, peering about, and saw Sasuke carried by the current of people that spilled onto the street.

With a sigh, he trudged toward the door.

"Have a good day," said the driver. Naruto nodded, but the instant his foot plopped onto the step, he froze.

"Forgot my stuff," he said, feeling stupid. He slunk back to his seat, casting a wary glance at the place where Sasuke had sat. He crouched to grope under the seat for his briefcase and slid it free, shoving it under his arm. When he turned, something on the seat sent up a brilliant halo of sunlight.

"Hmm?" Absentmindedly, Naruto reached down. His fingers closed around a tiny glass bottle.

 _What's this?_ Out of curiosity, he lifted the little bottle in front of his face and swished it. Pale green liquid sloshed. _Breath spray? Figures. Mint-Man needs as much spearmint as he can get._

He hiked up his leg to rest his heel on the seat and balanced his briefcase on his knee to free his hand. He screwed off the gold cap and stuck the lip of the bottle under his nose. One sniff was all he needed. A tangle of dewy, humid rainforest assaulted him, along with the misty spray of the Amazon River and the crisp breeze that sifted through pine trees.

Sasuke's cologne.

 _Must've dropped out of his pocket,_ thought Naruto, shaking the bottle to watch bubbles froth in the liquid. He turned the bottle around to see the gilded label. _Dubois de Denisé: Spicy Pine Bullets._

A smile crept over Naruto's face. He slipped the bottle into his pocket, grabbed his briefcase, adjusted his lapels, and darted for the door.

He would probably never meet Sasuke Uchiha again. But one of those spicy pine bullets would stay lodged in his heart for the rest of his life.


End file.
